Saturday marks the one year anniversary of my first positive pregnancy test.

Well folks, it's that time of year.  Awards season is kicking off (and yeah, the VMAs already happened, but I'm talking the majors here -- Emmys, Golden Globes, Grammys, Oscars).  The big leagues start tonight with the Prime Time Emmy Awards.

(and yeah, I was totally singing that to the tune of "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas."  What can I say? I'm a sucker for Christmas.)

Kind of like this.  I'm not sure where the pic is originally from, but I found it at thequeencitystyle.com

Like this (our first Christmas together) but on crack.  A lot more saturation.

Love the chevron! Pic from babble.

So you know how you have things that you don't really lie about, but that you just prefer not to mention unless directly asked?

I first saw this on Pinterest awhile ago, and it's really been on my mind a lot lately.  Faith in God includes faith in His timing.  It's something to think about, huh?

Now I'll be the first to admit that patience is not one of my better virtues; I'm kind of like a less-spoiled, less-demanding Veruca Salt -- I want it now!.  I've never been a particularly patient person, though I've often wanted to be since my impatience often causes me stress.  I feel like lately God has been finding ways to teach me patience.

The biggie, obviously, is waiting for a baby.  That's been an 18-month lesson in the making.  There are other smaller things though too.  We've been dealing with some work drama where Tom's concerned (among other things, he doesn't have the job he was offered because the girl he was replacing kept pushing back her quit date, then decided not to quit.  We were thrilled).  I've been wondering though if we went through all that crap so that we could have a better opportunity (he has an interview for an AMAZING job tomorrow, so we would appreciate any good thoughts/vibes/prayers).

Other little things I've noticed are traffic detours and blockings, waiting for a window replacement, and a lot of things I experience every day as a preschool teacher.  When they first happen, I never really think much of them, but upon reflection, it seems like all these seemingly random little occurrences are teaching me to be more patient.

I need to remember more often to stop, breathe, and calm down.  Getting annoyed, frustrated, upset, or angry isn't going to help anything.  It won't make anything happen any faster than it's supposed to happen.  I need to stop being such a control freak and give my worries to God.

I signed up a couple of weeks ago for HappyRambles, an online gratitude journal.  Every night, they send me an email, and I respond with five things I am grateful for.  I think it's been helping me have a better view on life.  I would consider myself a generally positive person, but I'm prone to mood swings (hello, hormone imbalance!) and feelings of doubt, so I'm not always Penelope Perkypants.  I feel like this gratitude journal has been improving that; I've been feeling generally better about my life and I've been having fewer jealous feelings (which has been WONDERFUL).

Even though I'm a grownup, I'll never be done growing as a person.  And I really like that.

There's always room for improvement :)

I'm not sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm a total and complete Gleek.  It's my favorite show (tied with Bones), I never miss an episode and I have almost (if not) all the soundtracks.  Obviously, I've been counting down the days to the season 4 premiere, and the time finally came tonight at 9pm EST.  The show's changing things up a bit this season: a new crop of students, multiple cross-country settings, and (in case you're still in denial) FINN AND RACHEL ARE BROKEN UP (I'm not okay with this, btw).


***SPOILERS AHEAD***











I'm totally serious about the spoilers.  Stop reading now if you don't want to know things.










You've had sufficient warning.  I am now blameless for any information you learn that you didn't want to know.

So here's a little recap and my thoughts (why else would you be on my blog?) about tonight's episode.

 Fresh Faces:
     -Jacob Artist as Jacob Puckerman, Puck's younger half-brother
     -Melissa Benoist as Marley Rose, "homeless Rachel" as Tom puts it
     -Dean Geyer as Brody Weston, one of Rachel's NYADA classmates
     -Kate Hudson as Cassandra July, Rachel's alcoholic dance teacher
     -Becca Tobin as Kitty, Sue's new "head b***h", kind of like if Quinn and Santana had a douchebaggy little baby

Favorite New Character So Far: It's a tossup between Jake and Brody.  You can tell Jake has a lot of depth to him, and I'm really interested to learn more about he decides to navigate pursuing (or not) a relationship with Puck.  I'm really interested in Brody though too; he seems to have an interesting combination of Finn's sweetness and Jesse's conniving ways (I can totally see him pulling some kind of jerky deception on her to either outshine her or pull her away from Finn)

Least Favorite New Character So Far: Kitty.  So far she's coming off as far meaner than Quinn ever was, and most of the time she looks far older than her character should be (I couldn't find Becca Tobin's real age for comparison)

What Went Down:
     -Rachel's first dance class doesn't quite go as well as she expected (Cassandra decides to call her Little Miss David Schwimmer)
     -Mike Chang is back on the market (love him!)
     -Rachel saw Brody almost naked in the bathroom (and yes, her eyes lingered just a little too long)
     -Sue had her baby, a little girl named Robin
    -people actually swarmed the New Directions sign-up sheet (crazy, right?)
    -Wade/Unique transferred to McKinley, and joined Tina, Brittany and Blaine in a sing-off to become "the new Rachel"
     -the glee kids tell Wade he shouldn't be Unique except while performing, which gives him the sads
     -the jocks peer pressure Artie into making a joke about Marley's overweight lunch lady mom
     -the glee club holds auditions, and Jake gets angry when his audition gets cut off, so he throws a music stand
     -Rachel and Marley both impress with their renditions of "New York State of Mind"
     -Marley made the glee club, but Jake didn't
     -Artie decides (after deliberation and an online poll) that Blaine is the new Rachel
     -Marley and her mom have a touching heart-to-heart about dreams, guilt and sacrifice
     -Blaine tells Kurt he needs to go to New York
     -Marley stands up to the glee kids making fun of her mom
     -Brody and Rachel have a semi-deep, flirtatious discussion
     -Burt encourages Kurt to make the leap to move to NYC (and when Mike O'Malley cries, I cry)
     -the glee kids apologize to Marley
     -Mr. Schue admits to Jake that he knows he's Puck's brother, and Jake tells him Puck doesn't know about him
     -Rachel calls Kurt in tears and admits she's been lying to him about how great her life is, and they have a joyful reunion when she finds out he's standing behind her

Best Moment: There were several great moments (like any time Darren Criss was on screen), but I'm going to go with Brittany gesturing to Artie that her "number" is 3 during their performance of "Call Me Maybe"

Worst Moment: The fact that there was no Mike Chang.   I love Mike Chang.  "I'm Mike Chang" (Tom and I fight over being Mike Chang a lot).

What They Sang:
     -Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" (Wade, Blaine, Brittany, Tina)
     -Lady Gaga's "Americano" (Cassandra)
     -The Fray's "Never Say Never" (Jake)
     -Barbra Streisand's version of Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind" (Rachel/Marley)
     -Imagine Dragons' "It's Time" (Blaine)
     -Adele's "Chasing Pavements"

Best Song: "It's Time".  I was going to give it to "Never Say Never" (I'm such a sucker for the Fray), but then Darren Criss opened his lovely mouth and the angels smiled upon him as he sang.  Plus I always LOVE when he sings for Kurt (I think "Somewhere Only We Know" is probably my favorite Glee performance ever).

Worst Song: "Chasing Pavements".  I love Adele, and I think Melissa Benoist has a pretty voice.  When compared with Lea Michele, Amber Riley, and Naya Rivera, she just doesn't have the powerhouse factor, and her Adele performance after theirs (particularly the "Rumour Has It/Someone Like You" mashup) just can't compare.

One-Liners:
     -"Ohio?  That's even worse.  Have you ever looked at a map?  Ohio's like a big turd that Michigan just can't pinch off." -Cassandra

     -"That's a great haircut, Mercedes.  I thought you graduated." -Brittany, to Wade

     -"We decide this on our own then, Thunderdome-style." -Blaine

     -"It's hard making out over Skype.  You can't really scissor a webcam." -Brittany

     -"Are there words to this song?" -Blaine

     -"I had a song in my heart, Blaine Warbler, and you killed it. Now I have a dead song in my heart, and pretty soon the corpse of my dead heart song is going to start to smell." -Brittany

"Our invitation was not extended to pre-op Precious based on the novel 'Barf' by Sapphire and Mike and Molly's daughter." -Kitty

Thoughts:

     -The transitions between NYC and Lima needed to be better, because the NYC end felt really...awkward...at times, like it was just randomly put there.  I'm really hoping Kurt being in NYC now will make those scenes better.
     -Kate Hudson sings better than I expected her to, but her performance tonight wasn't nearly as good as Gwyneth Paltrow's turn as Holly Holliday.
     -Marley's hat is absolutely terrible.  Being poor doesn't mean you have to wear a horrible hat (and having been poor all my life, I know this from experience).
     -Santana is so much better at being Santana than Kitty is.
     -Sue was actually kind of maternal.  It was weird.  And then she pawned baby Robin off on Kitty, and all was right in the world once more.
     -WHERE IS MIKE CHANG?! I NEED SOME MIKE CHANG!!!
     -I'm stoked for Britney 2.0!

I'm sure your news feeds and such are full of 9/11 remembrance pictures and statuses that say "Never forget." or something similar.  Maybe you shared something like that yourself.  Maybe you agree.  Maybe you agree, but it's getting annoying. Or maybe you just don't care and think America needs to get over it already.

I don't think I'll ever get over it.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm not sitting around all day, every day sobbing about 9/11.  A lot of the time I don't even think about it.  But inevitably, when September 11th comes around every year, I find myself crying (and yes, I'm an overly sensitive hormonal crazy woman who cries over everything anyway, but this is different).  Just thinking about it will bring me to tears.

There have been some major tragedies in my lifetime, some I remember and some I don't. I was in first grade when the Oklahoma City bombing happened; I don't remember too much about it, but I know the picture of the firefighter carrying of the baby is something I will never forget.  I was a senior in high school when Hurricane Katrina hit, and although I felt terrible about it, it didn't really hit me hard because it didn't affect me.  Fifty years from now, I'm not going to be able to tell you what year OKC was bombed; Katrina will probably be something I only think of when a hurricane is mentioned on the news.  No matter how old I get, I will always remember where I was when I heard the World Trade Center had been attacked.

I was in 8th grade at the time, and it was ISTEP+ week (for those of you not from Indiana, ISTEP+ is Indiana's standardized test that the Department of Education uses to bore kids to death).  I was in my reading class (Mrs. Sturgeon's class, to be exact).  After she had been told what was going on, she turned on the TV and we watched in silence.  The school was put on lockdown for awhile, so we all just sat there horrified at what we saw.

I will admit that I'm not the most patriotic person ever.  This country (well, humanity, really) drives me absolutely nuts sometimes.  However, I recognize how incredibly blessed I am to have been born in the US.  There are so many other countries where my life would be so much worse than it is, especially because I'm a woman.  I was born in a place where I have freedom other women only dream about, and for that I will always be eternally grateful; I'm grateful to God, grateful to the men who founded this country with different ideals, and grateful to all the men and women who have fought to keep it that way.

I don't know how it was for anyone else, but growing up, it always seemed like the US was invincible.  History books made it sound like we're the world's knight in shining armor: rushing in to help win WWII, fighting for our freedom, giving aid to less fortunate countries.  I was taught that we were the world's foremost superpower, and as such, I always had a sense of security, a feeling that we were so powerful that nothing could hurt us.

I realized at the age of 13 just how naive and childish that thought was.

Even though I was hundreds of miles away in Indiana, I felt like my world had been completely rocked.  I learned more about love and hate, war and peace, and what it means to be an American in that one day than I can even begin to explain.  On September 11, 2001, I grew up; I had no other choice.

So yes, I'll always remember.  Always.

So a couple of weeks ago, I got a bottle of agave nectar at the store.

So what is agave nectar, you may ask?

Agave nectar is an all-natural sweetener derived from the sap of agave plant.  It's kind of like honey, but not nearly as thick, and it's sweeter.  Because it's so much sweeter than sugar or honey, you don't need to use as much.  Plus since it's plant-based, it makes a great vegan-friendly alternative to honey.

a blue agave plant (pic from Wikipedia)

Proper substitutions when using it call to use 2/3c of nectar for every cup of sugar called for, and you need to reduce all other liquids by 1/4.

I used organic Agave in the Raw in place of sugar when making no-bake cookies this weekend (I didn't take a picture before they were all gone...my bad).  I reduced everything as per the instructions, and they turned out well.  The cookies still formed as they should, and weren't any thinner for the lack of sugar.  The taste was a bit different, of course, but the difference was subtle, and it wasn't bad at all.

I also used agave nectar in my overnight oats for the first time last night.  It was okay, but I prefer maple syrup.

All in all, I recommend agave nectar if you're looking to cut down on refined sugar consumption.  It is more expensive (obviously), but a little goes a long way.

This week, I went grocery shopping by myself.  Since Tom wasn't there to pick our new food, I picked.  I picked eggplant, because I had always loved the color and the price was right.

When I got home, I looked up eggplant recipes, and ultimately decided to go with Martha Stewart's Roasted-Eggplant Dip with Greek Yogurt.

Making it was fun; I rather enjoyed roasting it over the open flame of a gas burner.

When it was finished, I brought it to Tom for his verdict.  He said he disliked the aftertaste, but that it wasn't bad.  I however, wasn't a fan.

So far, our score is:

Alex: parsnips

Tom: eggplant (kind of)

In unrelated news, I'm seriously considering cutting my hair.  I'll get back to you on that.

I have a confession to make.

I've always disliked fall.

If you asked me, I would always say it was my least favorite season.  I thought it was boring.

But over the last few years, that's changed.

Now I LOVE fall.  I eagerly anticipate its arrival.  It's pretty much tied for first with spring as my favorite season (in case you were wondering, I think summer is probably my least favorite now.  Winter is too magical to ever be last).

And now it's September, which means a lot of things, like the first day of preschool.  It also means fall will officially begin in less than three weeks!  Tom starts his job this month (God provides!  Plus new job =  insurance = finally getting to go to an RE = maybe baby!), and we're hoping to go to Feast of the Hunter's Moon (a local historical festival) this year (we've never been, and I've always wanted to go).  I'm hoping to get crafting again soon (I have lots of plans for Christmas!), and Pumpkin Spice drinks are back at Starbucks!  College football is back in full swing (I'm not a devotee, but I take an interest in a few teams -- Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoosiers! Go Vols!), and it's almost time for October, and a very big event for Tom (just a few days before HALLOWEEN!!!! I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!!).  I'm ready for crunchy leaves, and sweaters, and cocoa.  I'm tired of humidity and having the A/C on so much.  I'm going back home to see my family next weekend too; I really miss my grandparents (and my bubby...hopefully he'll be at our dad's then).

Also, I'm secretly hoping to be able to get some cute riding boots :)

I'm feeling really good about things right now.  I have my days, as we all do, but I feel like our family is finally on the right track :)  We're getting in a better place financially, and I'm hoping soon I can FINALLY say that I'm going to be a mommy :)  It's been a looooooooong time since we first started trying, but I'm trying to keep it from getting me down :)

Happy September :)

We haven't actually tried Horizon yet, but it's an easily recognizable brand.