All I Wanted For Christmas Was My BFP

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

But when I got the results of my progesterone check back, and my levels on 100mg Clomid and Metformin were .6 (which was actually lower than Metformin alone), I knew that I wasn't going to be getting two pink lines for Christmas.

 I was walking around the house singing "All I Want For Christmas Is My BFP" (to the tune of "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Left Teeth, of course"), but it just wasn't meant to be this month. Side note: I often make up weird little parody songs. After we watched The Lego Movie, I turned "Everything is Awesome" into "Everyone is Pregnant" while at the grocery store, and also "(Insert Name of Person Who is Kind of Awful) is Awful". On a road trip years ago, I made up songs about a guy my friend Hannah liked to the tune of whatever came on the radio, and they were actually kind of great. It's my weird little secret talent.

But getting the bad news? It was definitely disheartening. I had felt really strongly that I had ovulated (which just goes to show that, at least in the case of reproductive matters, my gut can't be trusted). It felt like I was taking two steps back when the combination of both meds combined was supposed to be MORE helpful. However, as my friend Missie often reminds me when I'm discouraged, it can take a few cycles for Clomid to actually help you ovulate, and this was only my second actual cycle with Clomid.

My doctor did go ahead and up my dosage for this cycle -- 150mg, which I started last night. If I don't ovulate this cycle, he wants to talk about injectables (which carry a much higher price tag) and having my tubes thoroughly checked. However, if I don't ovulate this cycle, I'm going to see if he could/would be willing to give me Femara, a breast cancer drug that is used off-label to promote ovary stimulation; many women who are Clomid-resistant respond well to Femara. It also has fewer side effects, though I have not really had any major issues with Clomid (it affects my appetite, makes me extra weepy, gives me hot flashes, and makes me occasionally dizzy).

I'm really hoping that 150mg will do the work, and my ovaries will respond appropriately. I don't even need to get pregnant this cycle (though of course, that would be amazing); I just want to know that my body is actually capable of getting pregnant.

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