Fresh Year, Fresh Start

Sunday, January 07, 2018



It's been just over six months since I last updated this blog.

It's not that I found myself not caring about the blog anymore; I was just having trouble caring about myself. As I mentioned in the last post, I had been rather depressed, and it only continued to intensify as the year continued. Many days, I could barely bring myself to get out of bed, go to work, and care for my family, let alone do something for myself as a creative outlet. And so this poor blog sat, neglected, gathering dust and waiting for me to come back.

And now I'm back.

I can't promise that there won't be another six month hiatus (I hope not, but I know better than to say that with certainty), but I do promise that I am making an effort to express myself through writing once more. Yes, my life is not particularly exciting, but honestly, this is more for me than for you guys (though I do always appreciate when people tell me that something I've written here was relatable to them -- it's always nice knowing you're not alone and that others value what you have to say! I actually had a stranger come up to me at an event I helped Tom put together last summer and tell me how much she loved this blog, and that was an incredible moment for me that I will never forget). It's good for me to get things out, sometimes because it helps me to get things off my chest, and sometimes just because it feels good to connect with others, even if it is through the internet. My depression has left me feeling isolated more often than not, which makes me want to not even bother trying to connect with people, but I think that's why it's more important than ever that I actually try to make the effort to do so. I've spent too much time feeling like I'm drowning within myself, and I'm ready to come up for air.

With that in mind, I picked a word to be my mantra in 2018 that seemed rather fitting:

This year, I am hoping to provide renewal to myself, mind, body, and soul. I want to be a better mother, better wife, better friend, better family member, better teacher, and better person in general. I have a lot of things about myself that I want to improve, but more importantly, I want to improve the way I see myself. I want to be able to truly love myself, and I'm not sure if I ever really have. It's a lofty goal, but one that I'm hoping to work at over the course of the year as I embark on this journey of renewal.

2017 did not agree with me in a lot of ways, but I've noticed that so far in 2018, I've been feeling much more positive than I had been. I'm choosing to take that as a sign of good things to come.

Thank you, 2018. I'm ready to go on this adventure with you.

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2 comments

  1. Jessica Goffinet GoekenJanuary 8, 2018 at 9:36 AM

    Alex! Glad to see you back! I know you've been struggling, and I think writing about it will be beneficial for you. 2017 was rough on me too, and I started a blog (http://thewordsalad.com/) in September. It's a writing blog, and I intended to use it to share my own experiences and hopefully help other writers who are going through the same things. It's turned into a cathartic outlet for me instead. I write about my struggles, and my successes, and my current projects, and books I'm reading, and it helps me to get out of my own head and organize my thoughts and feelings into a cohesive whole. I know this blog can do the same for you. It's a valuable tool on your way to good mental health, and I know you have what it takes to find the renewal you're looking for. Don't give up!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's nice to know somebody actually still checks this, lol. I'll definitely check out your blog! I'm glad it's been helpful for you :)

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